When you go through something traumatic—big or small—your body remembers. Even if your mind moves on, your body holds onto the experience. Maybe your shoulders tense up, your stomach knots, or your chest feels tight. And when a similar situation happens again? Your body reacts the same way, whether you consciously recognize it or not.

You can ignore those signals, suppress them, and push forward—but trust me, your body won’t forget. It’ll remind you in different ways: headaches, muscle pain, digestive issues, insomnia. If you don’t pay attention, it’ll keep sounding the alarm until you finally listen.

I learned this the hard way.

The Car in Christchurch

During our travels in New Zealand, my wife and I decided to buy a used car instead of renting an RV. The plan seemed solid—until the car started having serious issues the day we got it. The engine light came on, and I immediately wanted to return it. But the seller was a complete jerk. He refused to communicate, ignored our concerns, and basically left us stranded.

I felt powerless. Not heard. Stuck in a foreign country where I didn’t know the rules or my rights. It was stressful as hell, and eventually, I just sold the car back to him for $2,000 less than what I paid—just to be done with it. As soon as the deal was over, I felt relieved. I moved on. Or so I thought.

When the Past Caught Up with Me

Fast forward to the Netherlands. Our car broke down, and suddenly, while searching for a new one, I felt it again—that same tension, that same unease. My stomach clenched, my chest felt heavy, and I couldn’t relax. It made no sense. I wasn’t in New Zealand. I wasn’t dealing with some shady car salesman. I was home. Safe. But my body didn’t care. It reacted as if I was back in Christchurch, about to get screwed over again.

And that’s when it hit me.

This wasn’t just about buying a car. It was about the unresolved stress my body was still carrying from that experience.

I said it out loud to my wife—acknowledged the connection between the two situations—and something amazing happened. Within minutes, my body started to relax. I could breathe again. My stomach unclenched. The tension left my shoulders. Just recognizing the pattern was enough to break it.

Your Body Speaks—Are You Listening?

Our minds are tricky. We convince ourselves we’re fine, that we’ve handled the past, that we’ve moved on. But the body? The body doesn’t lie. It keeps score. If you don’t acknowledge what it’s trying to tell you, it will keep reminding you—louder and louder—until you do.

One thing that helped me back in Christchurch was writing a letter to that car salesman. Not to send it—just to get it out of my system. Writing is powerful like that. It’s a way to process emotions and physically move them out of your mind, through your hand, and onto the page.

That’s why this matters. When you recognize what your body is telling you, you can help it let go. Your mind might have processed an event, but your body might still be waiting for reassurance. Sometimes, all it takes is saying, It’s okay. This isn’t the same situation. You’re safe now. And in that moment, you can breathe again.

For those wondering, yes—we bought a new car. This time, in my home country, where I know how things work. And surprise, surprise—there was nothing to be afraid of.

So take a deep breath. Tune in. Your body knows more than you think.

Just breathe and listen.